Worth it or not?

Final days of the month are meant to close stuff in anticipation of new beginings. Well. Here goes!

This month, I've finally started on my research project for my M.Sc.. I was all geared up and pretty gung ho till I found out how stiffling my uni can be. So many rules and regulations and policies... I mean, who does research within office hours? And with no access to the keys after hours? Zzzzz... I can go on and on, but that's not the point of this post. Sampling was a blessing, as disappointing the site may be. I'm afraid Lankayan has spoiled me for good. :( Work in the lab has been pretty routine so far, nothing exciting yet. I'm at that stage where I do lots of work (endless even!) without knowing if it will be worth it or not.

That's the golden question: worth it or not?

I distinctly remember myself saying, at the end of my FYP days, that I don't want to do anymore full lab work research in the future...but look where I am now. Did I make the right decision? Or was I too rash in my desperation to do M.Sc. that I took whatever came along? Well, that's not 100% true too... I actually managed to come up with the topic and the proposal, with a few suggestions for analysis from my supervisor thrown in, haha~ I'm pretty proud of it actually. :) But yeah, did I think it through before packing up and leaving the island? Because I damn well miss the island and my job so much I can cry. I miss living by the sea, I miss the diving, I miss the people...most of all, I miss the freedom. Work isn't work when you do what you love, which is probably why I didn't mind the 7-days/week, 10-hours/day work schedule.

*Sigh*

The pay could have been better... And if there were more opportunities for advancement, I don't think I would have left so early. I don't think I want to be a Research Assistant forever, and I seriously doubt that I can pursue my dreams of conquering the world with my paycheck, lol. The island was great for field work, but so fail for lab work, and I really do think that lab work is needed to further understand biological processes in the sea. What I don't understand is why I can't seem to be able to reconcile both field and lab? It's frustrating, really.

I believe in marine conservation, and that's what I want to do for a living. I love being in the field, although I understand the need to be in the lab to uncover more ocean mysteries. I know that bioprospecting is crucial to provide new technologies that may eventually contribute towards environmental rehabilitation. However, most lab people tend to just focus on exploiting the environment instead of heading towards sustainable development, conservation and rehabilitation. I just hope that I'm moving along the right path that will lead me towards what I would be happy doing. :-/

Anyways...

With a new month coming, hopefully there will be more excitement in the project, new stuff to learn from, and I pray that affirmation will come and tell me that I am going in the right direction. :)